Concerned about a parent’s drug or alcohol use?

If your parents have a problem with drugs or alcohol, it can be a difficult and unsettling experience. Their behaviour might be strange, they might become unreliable, and unable to look after you and keep you safe. You might be worried about them coming to harm or getting in trouble. You might also feel angry, let down or scared.

Whatever you are feeling, it's important that you know that their alcohol or drug use is not your fault and that you are not alone.

If you're worried about a parent’s alcohol or drug use or you are worried about the impact it is having on their ability to look after you, the first thing you should do is talk to someone. You could talk to a friend, a relative or an adult you can trust. You could also speak confidentially to a Childline counsellor online via www.childline.org.uk/get-support or over the phone on 0800 111. You could also talk to other children and young people on their message boards who might be going through something similar to you.

There is also a free support group for 12-17 year olds whose parents use alcohol called Alateen. You can call them on 020 7539 2070 or visit www.al-anonuk.org.uk/alateen to find out if there are any local in person or online meetings you can attend to talk and meet other teenagers.

For confidential advice on alcohol or drugs you could talk to FRANK by calling 0300 123 6600, texting 82111 or chatting online.

In an emergency, for example if you feel unsafe or your parent needs urgent medical help, call 999. If your parent needs medical help, tell the operator and paramedics which drugs they have taken if you know it as it could save their life.

How can I stop my parent drinking or taking drugs?

You can't force your parent to do something that they don't want to, and it isn't your fault if they don't want to stop drinking or taking drugs.

There are local free alcohol and drug services that can help. They are used to working with parents, and many parents who go to them will get better. Your parents can find these on FRANK, get help/support near you.

If your parent is unable to look after you or they are physically or emotionally abusing you, then it is important that both you and your parent get support. This may mean that children’s social care get involved to assess your wellbeing and work with your family to try and keep everyone together happy and safe.

Some parents worry that if they go to drug and alcohol treatment services, they will have their children taken into care. They might have even told you that this will happen. In reality, many parents in treatment don't have any involvement with social workers, and for those that do, most live with their children

If your parent is caught with drugs, they might get into trouble. They could get a warning, an arrest, a formal caution or a conviction. This will depend on the drugs they're caught with, how much of it they have on them and what they're doing with them.

It is a big decision to talk to your parent about something they're doing that is worrying you. It is worth taking a bit of time to think about it first. Talking it through with people will help.

Telling your parent that you are worried about them could help them realise they have a problem that needs sorting. But it could also make them defensive or angry. If you don't feel you can talk to them, you shouldn't feel like you have let yourself or your parent down. But you should talk to someone you trust about how you are feeling and coping.

Remember you can always speak confidentially to a Childline counsellor online via www.childline.org.uk/get-support or over the phone on 0800 111. You could also talk to other children and young people on their message boards who might be going through something similar to you.

Concerned about a parent’s drug or alcohol use?

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Should I talk about my parents alcohol or drug use?