I hadn’t taken too many drugs before I came to university, a bit of weed and ketamine a couple times, but not enough to be considered an issue. I had always been interested in drugs, I thought it looked fun and never considered the adverse effects it could have on my life.

When I came to university I started off by trying MDMA. It was amazing, I felt great, I just wanted to dance all night and talk to anyone who would listen. After a few months of not doing anything harder than weed, my flatmate offered me MCAT or mephedrone. It slowly became a habit, and I began to realise I hadn’t gone out in months without doing it. I began to take more cause my tolerance was increasing, and the come downs began to last days. I am now living in a house in my second year with this guy who offered me the MCAT. He now deals MDMA as well. I have cut down, I did MCAT about 5-6 times in my first term and MDMA 3 times in my second term. I slipped up the first night of my third term and ended up taking about 2 ½ grams of MDMA and staying up until 6pm the next day.

 I’d like to say I’d never do it again but I don’t trust myself! I don’t even think I enjoy it anymore, and my comedowns last for days. But every time someone suggests doing it, I can’t help myself, and because I live with a dealer I can get it whenever I ask. I have tried asking him not to sell it to me but he always does. I can’t go on like this; I am alienating my friends and lying to my girlfriend about it who thinks I quit 6 months ago! I don’t know what to do!